Stylin' and profilin'
By Chad T. Jones
Public Affairs Officer
I mean Ramadan is here, and I'm sure the trials and tribulations of an overweight man fasting for 16 hours a day in 100-degree heat would be riveting.
More to sports: The Olympics start Friday, but since nothing really happens until next week -- who watches the opening ceremony? -- it doesn't seem like we need to get into it yet.
Besides, breaking down the Olympics is pretty easy. We'll dominate basketball, swimming, track and field, and the medal count, so I really don't need to say much more than that.
Of course, the NCAA also laid the proverbial smackdown on Penn State. I do not know what else to say about that other than PSU would have deserved any punishment for what can only be described as gross over-institutional control. That, and anyone who still tries to defend JoPa is a moron. The dude knew and wasn't willing to cook the golden goose, which was Penn State football.
I sort of hope the whole team transfers and all those fans who will continue to fill "the house Paterno built" are forced to watch the school's intramural flag-football champions get rolled by whomever they play.
However, since plenty of people will fill countless column inches blabbing about the above events, plus other things like the MLB trade deadline (Tigers getting Anibal Sanchez is nice), and NFL training camp starting, I figured it would be appropriate to talk about another significant event in sports entertainment that might have gone overlooked: WWE Raw aired its 1,000th episode Monday.
Now, I've been watching wrestling ever since I was a little boy in Michigan's West Point Hills trailer park and Gordon Solie was announcing from the Omni in Atlanta on TBS. http://bit.ly/dj5uZz
But it is fair to say that Raw changed the game when it first aired in January 1993. If you remember correctly, back in '93 wrestling was in a funk and struggling to keep an audience after Hulkamania and Macho Madness started to die down and Saturday Night's Main Events were more like Saturday night sleepers.
But then the genius that is Vincent Kennedy McMahon, decided to kick things up a notch and the rest has been history -- a history dripping with Stone Cold Stunners (http://bit.ly/MWvfTZ), Rock Bottoms (http://bit.ly/ODcftd) and a whole lotta smack talk.
In fact, it's fair to say that Raw's greatest contribution to wrestling is that it raised the level of the ring entrance.
So, in honor of that accomplishment, here is a list of the best promos and entrances in Raw and wrestling history:
5. "Ravishing" Rick Rude: What I'd like to have right now is for all of you short, out-of-shape Team Meade members to keep the noise down while Ravishing Rick shows you what a real ring entrance looks like. http://bit.ly/OikApU Cut the music.
4. The Rock: It doesn't matter what you know, it doesn't matter what you think. All that matters, you Jabronies, is that you know your role, shut your mouth and smell what the Rock is cookin'. http://bit.ly/lTRN3
3. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin: If Raw made wrestling, the Rattlesnake made Raw. And that's the bottom line 'cause Stone Cold said so! http://bit.ly/MI66xO
2. Hulk Hogan: Let me ask you something, brother. Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you? http://bit.ly/qXgIwJ
Who knew The Hulkster also was Doctor Phil?
1. Ric Flair: To be the man, you have to beat the man. No truer words have ever been spoken. Woooo! http://bit.ly/MXrkdd
And as a special gift for this momentous milestone in television history, here is a another list you should read. http://bit.ly/fKwI9p
In it you will read the single greatest quote in all of literary history, courtesy of one Jesse "The Body" Ventura: Dusty Rhodes wouldn't win a body-building contest for best abs. McMahon, he'd win for MOST abs.
Enjoy, and we'll talk about the Olympics next week.
If you have comments on this or anything to do with sports, contact me at email@example.com.
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Col. Brian P. Foley
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